True Grit gets a trailer

Ah, bless those Coens. Nothing gets me happy that awards season is approaching like the chance to see a new Coen Brothers film. And here we have reigning Best Actor Jeff Bridges in a role that nabbed John Wayne his only Oscar. Add in Matt Damon and Josh Brolin and a reputedly more faithful rendering of Charles Portis' novel and this all looks like true greatness yet again.

Apple.com has the exclusive trailer linked below and in the right-hand trailer bar.

http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/paramount/truegrit/

Trailers: Hereafter & The Fighter

Two new trailers in the right-hand trailer bar (and linked below). Clint Eastwood is always a significant presence come awards season and Hereafter looks like it could follow his usual pattern. I hear great things about Cecile De France in this film, Damon is riding high on last year's Invictus (also for Eastwood) nomination and also appears in a supporting role in the Coens' True Grit this year - doubling his chances again as he did last year with a lead turn in The Informant! alongside Invictus' supporting role.

This looks to be an Eastwood film with a rare large scale and effects work. He has done large scale with effects before (most recently in the brilliant Letters From Iwo Jima and it's less successful companion picture Flags Of Our Fathers).

Unfortunately for all Eastwood's greatness as a director he has in the past shown a fatal flaw, the selection of unknown/child actors. Few people could dispute that the young actors in Gran Torino were terrible, especially the boy. Here even just a snippet of the boy in Hereafter gives the distinct impression of a terrible, wooden performance. Unfair to judge completely on a moment in a trailer but the kid could once again be the fly in the ointment here.

http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi1274415385/

Then we have The Fighter. What to make of this? I am well on record as a supporter of the boxing film. I believe boxing is the most cinematic of sports subjects. Raging Bull may be my favourite film but there are numerous great films that revolve around boxers and boxing, such as: Rocky and its subsequent sequels, Cinderella Man (ignoring Zellweger), The Hurricane, Girlfight, Ali, Million Dollar Baby and Somebody Up There Likes Me.

The Fighter looks good. Generally i don't like Mark Wahlberg but he just got in my good books by being funnier than Will Ferrell in The Other Guys and this looks like one of those roles he can pull off. Add in the always good Amy Adams (although i admit to not having seen the apparently wretched Leap Year) and a typically immersive supporting turn from Christian Bale (is this finally the year he'll get a long overdue nomination?) and i'm there.

Of course it is David O Russell who made the irritatingly smug I Heart Huckabees and comes off as a total ass! But then he also did the great Three Kings, so i'll give him a pass.

http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2330986777/

Black Swan trailer

Okay, so after 4 months of astonishing slackness i'm going to try and boot this thing up again (took me three goes to get my password correct!) since awards season is getting going with all the Venice, Toronto, London etc Film Festival line-up announcements coming thick and fast.

One of the most anticipated titles coming up (if you're me) is Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan and the trailer (out today) makes it look as great as i'd have hoped. With a cast including the disturbingly beautiful Natalie Portman, the ridiculous cute Mila Kunis, 80s elfin crush Winona Ryder and some French bloke called Vincent Cassel (coming off the awesome Mesrine films) this looks to be a winner. And Barbara Hershey is in it. First Debra Winger in Rachel Getting Married 2 years ago and now Babs. All we need is Kelly McGillis and the where-are-they-now? of 80s leading ladies will be complete.

I've also updated the trailer bar on the right with the latest trailers for a few other upcoming films, including the brilliant looking (and well buzzed) Get Low, James L Brooks' latest How Do You Know, Paul Haggis' remake of Pour Elle titled The Next Three Days, and another buzz title Love And Other Drugs.


For Black Swan check this out:

http://uk.eonline.com/uberblog/b195828_natalie_portman_ballet_showgirls_black.html?utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=imdb_uk_topstories

Oh, my! Predators looking pretty cool!

There are three big, stupid, old-school action movies this year and i'm excited for all three, but Predators didn't make my top 10 most anticipated films of the year, whereas Machete (co-directed by Predators' producer and co-writer Robert Rodriguez) and The Expendables did. Why? Casts, plain and simple.

The Expendables has the greatest action cast ever assembled full stop (Stallone, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Schwarzenegger, Mickey Rourke, Jason Statham, Bruce Willis, Terry Crews, etc) while Machete places kick-ass supporting actor Danny Trejo front and center and surrounds him with about the most eclectic cast of all time (Robert DeNiro, Steven Seagal, Jessica Alba and Lindsey Lohan all in one movie! That's just plain bizarre!)

But now Rodriguez has posted some behind-the-scenes footage from Predators on the official website (and a trailer is due later this week) which gives a better concept of what the intention is on this sequel/reboot of the franchise which saw one of the best action films of the 80s, followed by a pretty decent and underrated sequel before being butchered in the past 5 years by the AvP films.

Frankly if there a man for the job of overseeing a reboot of this material Rodriguez with this genre, action, kick-ass, entertainment approach (see From Dusk Till Dawn, The Faculty, Desperado, Planet Terror) is the perfect man.

This footage gives me hope and boosts Predators up my must-sees for 2010:

http://www.predators-movie.com/

New Trailers: Two of the best for 2010?

New trailers for Iron Man 2 and Tron Legacy here. Finally get to see a bit more about what the new Tron film is about, so next up from Academy Award winner Jeff Bridges is...

http://www.program-glitch-esc.net/

Meanwhile having not survived Iron Man Bridges won't feature in Iron Man 2 but this trailer suggests it'll do just fine without him:

http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/paramount/ironman/

Now all we need is a True Grit trailer (which, as it has only just started shooting is likely to be a good 6 months plus away) to complete the Bridges related 2010 joy.

And if you haven't seen his Oscar-winning turn in Crazy Heart yet stop reading this now and go out and see it immediately.

The Dude Abides!

New trailer: Invictus

Mostly i don't mention new trailer's in the trailer bar (see right) at the moment because of all the screening posts but as this is Invictus - a film with the heady, awards baiting pedigree of director Clint Eastwood directing Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela and throwing Matt Damon into the mix - this one has to be highlighted. It always sounded destined to be an awards season player and this trailer does nothing to contradict such assumptions.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/invictus/

2 New Trailers: Men Who... and Inception

Men Who Stare At Goats - okay the combination of George Clooney and Jeff Bridges in a daft-as-brushes comedy is enough to get me into a theatre regardless but this does look damn funny, and Kevin Spacey gets the best trailer moment with the wedding scenes.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/themenwhostareatgoats/

Inception - only a teaser for Chris Nolan's new mind-bender but it looks intriguing and let's face it the man has never made a bad movie and he has a cast including Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Marion Cotillard and past Nolan collaborators Ken Watanabe, Cillian Murphy and Michael Caine so surely this'll be a winner.

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810099246/video/15201197

Updated: Avatar trailer! New faster link and now with The Wolfman too

Need to watch this a few more times and am seeing the extended 15 minutes trailer on Friday (which i think is in 3D). I'm sure this could blow my mind in 3D but the blue dudes look slightly odd. Still psyched though.

http://www.apple.com/movies/fox/avatar/avatar2009aug0820a-tsr_720p.mov

This link takes an age to download and the apple.com links are currently not working but you can source the above link and others (which may be smaller and therefore faster) at comingsoon.net

The best link currently sems to be through Time Online and clicking on a picture caption. Posting the onward link on its own doesn't work (reverts back to Avatar website) but go through the below and you can get instant access:

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/film/article6803770.ece

I have to say i've seen it 3 times now and the blue guys are growing on me.

Also out now we have The Wolfman trailer. Endless delays make me wary of this film but i still think it looks decent so who knows. It's a great story and this is a great cast so is it studios not knowing how to deal with a picture in the horror genre not aimed at teenagers or has it all gone awry somewhere along the line?

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/the-wolfman.html?showVideo=1

New trailers: 13 (including new Jonze, Wes Anderson, Gilliam & Coens)

Where The Wild Things Are - DAMN! This looks so set to be my film of the year. It's been on my most anticipated all year and the more i see the more excited i get. Can't wait. Latest full trailer below and (as usual) on trailer bar, right:

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1808412037/video/14932815

The Imaginarium Of Dr Parnassus - wow! This looks stunning, everything i wanted from the new Gilliam film. I just hope it can live up to the promise of this trailer and the fantastic cast.

http://uk.movies.yahoo.com/features/exclusive/

The Fantastic Mr Fox - The further you get in this trailer the better it looks. Took me 30 seconds to get past the look which threw me to start with but this does look very funny. An animated film from Wes Anderson with voice cast including Clooney, Streep and Bill Murray is too intriguing for words.

http://movies.yahoo.com/premieres/14824491/standardformat

It's Complicated - speaking of Streep! Okay, i'm sorry but i loved What Women Want and really enjoyed both The Holiday and Something's Gotta Give! I know, i know i have no excuses, i'm just a sucker for these films and this one looks like another winner to me. Streep is on a phenomenal run at the moment, Alec Baldwin, usually consistent, is peaking right now and Steve Martin seems to bringing that old comedic charm rarely seen since the early 90s. Sign me up.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/itscomplicated/

The Blind Side - okay, so i'm obviously just in a sappy mood today because i kinda want to see this too (though it's partly because i like Bullock). It looks classically run-of-the-mill but i know i'll give it a shot.

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810088176/video/14881491

The Boys Are Back - ah-ha, the real me returns, 'cause this looks like a sap-fest that will iritate the hell out of me. Lousy all the way, not helped of course by the wooden presence of Clive Owen.

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810062537/video/14931811

A Serious Man - woo-hoo! You got to love the Coens (in fact i'm seeing Big Lebowski again at the cinema tonight). This looks in the wacky fun side of the brothers school as per Raising Arizona - perhaps almost squarely landing between Barton Fink and Intolerable Cruelty!

http://www.firstshowing.net/2009/07/29/first-brilliant-trailer-for-the-coen-brothers-a-serious-man/

Dorian Gray - this trailer starts badly but gets better. I'm not sure. I don't like the style, and it is VERY stylised. But the presence of the wonderful Rebecca Hall will alone guarantee i watch it.

http://www.shocktillyoudrop.com/news/topnews.php?id=11198

Tron Legacy - ah, 80s reminiscers (it that a word?!) rejoice. Flynn is back, and in 3D no less!

http://www.flynnlives.com/media/video/0xendgame.aspx

Did You Hear About The Morgans - aarrgh! This looks horrible. As if a comedy with Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker wasn't enough reason not to watch a film this trailer would have to be the convincer!

http://movies.yahoo.com/premieres/15032495/standardformat/

Gentlemen Broncos - I've never heard of this but with Sam Rockwell, the usually reliable young actor Michael Angarano and from the director of Napoleon Dynamite i'm ashamed to say so. Especially as this looks hilarious. Enjoy.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/gentlemenbroncos/

New York, I Love You - after Paris, Je T'Aime comes another set of all-star vignettes, this times odes to the Big Apple. Looks good, but these vignette movies are always hit and miss. We'll have to see.

http://www.newyorkiloveyouthemovie.com/

Law Abiding Citizen - and what would a new set of trailers be without a cheesy thriller than looks hugely entertaining!

http://movies.apple.com/movies/independent/lawabidingcitizen/lawabidingcitizen_h.480.mov?width=480&height=204

New trailers: Book of Eli, Bright Star

Why am i posting these two, they do nothing for me?! Well, this is intended to primarily be awards thinking and thus i can hardly ignore Jane Campion can I? Wish I could. As for Book Of Eli, well someone might be interested.

Book Of Eli (http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/thebookofeli/large.html)

To be honest this looks like it was intended to be a Wesley Snipes movie and they got Denzel instead! Yet another bleak post-apocalyptic movie and none can match the majesty of the literary world created in Cormac McCarthy's The Road (i doubt even the film version of it - which i'm refusing to watch - could) so i'm kinda done with these films. That said love Gary Oldman, especiallt in "show me the money" cheesy villain mode so maybe.

Bright Star (http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810011941/video/14655888)

Jane Campion. What more needs to be said? I've found every film she ever made completely tedious. Some people love her. You know which side of the line you stand on likely this will fit whatever preconceptions you have. Looks like another pile of tedious dreck to me!

New trailer: Alice In Wonderland

This is what it is. Personally i like the look of it, but simply put if you don't know what you're getting into with a Tim Burton take on Alice In Wonderland then you're madder than Depp's Hatter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09YdMstR1Kk

14, count 'em 14, new trailers!

Yes, i'm back. It's been over a month and work insanity has been keeping me away but i am determined that this week and next will see a sudden explosion of new posts on here.

There will be a new side-bar dedicated to spoof trailers making its debut.

A whole host of films seen over the past 6-7 weeks will finally get reviewed (in mini form).

I will be pondering the whole 10-film best picture category at next year's Oscars and throwing out my thoughts on what the 10 might be.

But first: new trailers.

I won't post all the links here but you will find a brand new set of 14 trailers in the trailers to catch side-panel. All the old ones have been swept away so everything there today is new on here today. I also hope to add the new 2012 trailer later this week when i track down the link for it - saw it today but now can't find it!

Anyway to those featured today. We have a very mixed bunch; something for everyone. The three that are getting me most excited are Ponyo, (500) Days Of Summer and The Informant.

Ponyo, as the new American title has it (Ponyo On The Cliff By The Sea for those of us that track the every move of Japanese animation god Hayao Miyazaki), is the trailer for the English-language version of the film featuring the voices of Cate Blanchett, Matt Damon, Tina Fey and others but most obviously Liam Neeson.

(500) Days Of Summer features one of my favourite young actors Joseph Gordon-Levitt and one of my uber-crushes Zooey Deschanel in what looks to be a "delightful" romantic comedy type. Sign me up my friends, sign me up!

The Informant is Soderbergh and Matt Damon in wacky mode. Think the Coen Brothers version of The Insider and might be just about there. This won't appeal to all but damn this trailer makes me chuckle and the idea of Scott "Quantum Leap" Bakula in a significant role is worth the price of admission alone!

Also new today we have:

Amelia - Hilary Swank looks for Oscar #3 in a bio-pic of Amelia Earhart which, despite being directed by Mira Nair, actually looks quite reasonable.

The Box - can Richard Kelly redeem himself? This thriller certainly looks like it could deliver.

Brothers - how it has taken this long for someone to cast Jake Gyllenhaal and Tobey Maguire as siblings is beyond me. This looks a tad melodramatic but i like Gyllenhaal and Natalie Portman and Sheridan's In America is one of my favourite films of the 2000s so i know i'll be seeing this one.

Couples Retreat - looks like it could bring the funny

Daybreakers - someone gave the Spierig brothers a budget. Hoping they deliver.

District 9 - new full trailer for this intriguing looking sci-fi

Fame - want to hate it but damn i think this trailer is kinda fun!

Funny People - red band trailer for the Apatow channels Brooks film looks slightly less Brooksian

Invention Of Lying - perfect Ricky Gervais subject. Could be fun.

Jennifer's Body - red band trailer for the Diablo Cody written horror

Old Boys - i shouldn't admit this made my laugh but it did so there, judge me!

New trailer: Shutter Island

Be warned: this is from the Robert Zemeckis school of "give as much away in the trailer as possible" so if you haven't read the book (which i have) that this seems to stick quite closely to, you may not want to watch this trailer before seeing the film.

That said it does look good and hopefully will be much better than Scorsese's overrated The Departed. Unfortunately it is yet another of the Scorsese/DiCaprio team ups (please make a new film with DeNiro Marty and forget pumpkin-headed Leo who's not fit to shine Bobby's shoes) but it has a hell of a cast: Ben Kingsley, Mark Ruffalo, Michelle Williams, Max Von Sydow, Ted Levine, Patricia Clarkson, Emily Mortimer, Elias Koteas, Jakie Earle Haley etc etc etc. Plus the trailer has clear stylistic vibes of Hitchcock and Kubrick which is interesting.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/shutterisland/

New trailers: Mr Nobody, The Answer Man, Shrink, The Final Destination

All the links for these are in the trailer bar on the right as usual so i'm not reporting them, but new trailers put up today cover the gamut!

Mr Nobody - looks intriguing. Obviously very low-budget (perhaps too so for what looks like an ambitious project) this could be genius like a Vincenzo Natali picture or a Charlie Kaufman, or it could be frustrating like Science Of Sleep.

The Answer Man - looks light and not stunning but fun and Jeff Daniels is always easy to watch. Looks like his character from Squid & the Whale meets Jack from As Good As It Gets via standard Sundance sort of fare. Still, i'll watch this one.

Shrink - looks like a missed opportunity. This looks lazy and uninspired. I hope with Spacey in a lead role again and support from the likes of Robert Loggia i'm wrong but i have a feeling this ones not going to be worth it.

The Final Destination - ah, what would a week be without a stupid cheesy trailer. It would seem that not only have New Line now thrown out any hint of an okay actor or coherent plot line to go for cheap-as-you-can teen-fodder in a 3D sequel to Final Destination, but they've also been watching that box office on Fast & Furious and thought to themselves, "Hey, that title is like, retro cool, seems franchise and yet possibly original"! And so now instead of Final Destination 4 we have THE Final Destination! Add a The get a whole new audience! Although one can't help but think that technically it should be The Final Final Destination, but i guess that's being far too logical for a franchise about fate taking you out in various gruesome ways that will presumably in this film entirely involve methods of demise that require things to fly directly at the screen. So much for the "the new 3D is about depth and creating a world to better serve the story, rather than a gimmick to just have things flying out of the screen" argument! Horror films like It Came From Outer Space and Creature From The Black Lagoon made 3D popular in the 50s before people got bored, then horror resurrected it in the 80s with films like Jaws 3D, Amityville 3D, Friday the 13th, Part 3D(!) and beat it into the ground once again. I can't help thinking that films like My Bloody Valentine, The Final Destination, Piranha 3D etc may end up countering all the good done for the format by films like Up and Coraline this time around. Still, we'll see i guess. It is also interesting that the makers of the Final Destination franchise are obviously cowardly, having originally announced the third film as planned for 3D (that films rollercoaster set piece is a dead giveaway of being thought up with 3D in mind) but they bottled it (probably because there just weren't that many 3D screens back then). Now other films have forced cinemas into adding screens and proven the format tobe popular once more, look who's back on the bandwagon. This sequel looks about as cynical as they come!

New trailer: Toy Story 3 teaser

As if it isn't bad enough that US audiences are already enjoying the wonders of Pixar's Up, 5 months ahead of the UK opening (damn Disney!) and, of course, another genius Pixar short film in Partly Cloudy, but they also got the teaser trailer for next summer's Toy Story 3.

Thankfully while not on a glorious giant digital screen we can at least see the TS3 teaser online. As usual with Pixar it is very much a teaser with no relevance to what we are likely to see in the film, but it is nice to see these characters back after a decade away! The Ham line is the high-point for me.

http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/259996/toy_story_3_see_the_teaser_trailer_here.html

With Up grossing an excellent $68m in the US at the weekend for Pixar's third best launch and another $4.2m in its international launch in Russia (yes, damn them too!) for the best Pixar launch yet, it looks like things continue on a winning run for Pixar. Can't wait for Up, can't wait for the 3D re-release double-bill of Toy Story and Toy Story 2, can't wait for Toy Story 3! Damn, i love these guys!

Oooh, cheesy thrillers! New trailer: Beyond A Reasonable Doubt

Damn, I'm a sucker for cheesy thrillers, especially those, like this, that feel like they should have come out in the '80s. This is probably because i grew up entertained by the '80s batch themselves.

And among such wonders were The Star Chamber, Running Scared (which i think of as an comedy really but it was still great), Narrow Margin, The Presidio and of course "High Noon in space" Outland. I loved every one of these and they all had one thing in common, director Peter Hyams. Add to those the "Muscles from Brussels" most entertaining effort TimeCop and the criminally entertaining The Relic (plus classic Capricorn One) and i think we can agree (or agree to disagree) that Hyams knows how to make a damn fun piece of daft entertainment. Well, Hyams is behind the lens of this Beyond A Reasonable Doubt and frankly that would get me into the cinema.

Add to that that it also has Michael Douglas (reteaming with Hyams for the first time since 1983's Star Chamber) in one of his shady characters that are always his most watchable roles. Okay so it stars "rent a handsome face" Jesse Metcalfe who couldn't act his way out of a paper bag but then acting ability is hardly a pre-requisite for this time of movie.

It even has a gloriously '80s poster!

So chalk this one up to a must-see piece of hokum in my book.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/beyondareasonabledoubt/

It's official - I am NOT watching the movie of The Road

That's it, the trailer is out (below and on side trailer bar) and i am NOT watching The Road.

I've been nervous about this one since it was announced, largely because what i loved about the book (one of 3 all-time favourites along with A Christmas Carol and 1984) was the knowledge it could never be made into a movie - it's too internal.

Then someone i know who had read the script but not the book gave me their impressions of the story and i started to get the idea the adaptation might be going places that would make me unhappy.

Last year i re-read the book only a year after i had read it for the first time because i wanted to make sure i read it again before my memories were sullied by the movie (if that occurred). Then it was delayed. Then it was delayed again. Now i plan to read the book again.

Now the trailer has hit and worst fears appear manifest. One of the greatest things about the book is the fact it takes place in a post-apocalyptic world but the events preceding the story in the book (solely about the emotional, spiritual and physical journey of a father and son survivors) are not gone into. We don't know what happened, why it happened and we don't need to. It is NOT IMPORTANT. The only things that are important are the father; the son; their survival - their story!

But this trailer suggests we are going to get the explanation, that the mother character (Charlize Theron here) has been significantly enlarged; that the brooding danger of the books rare close-shaves with cannibalistic survivors has become a much more in your face fight for survival from them.

I wish i could go back and stop myself watching this trailer as the images from it are already bothering me but at least i can still stop myself from watching the full film and ruining my experience of the book.

So that's it, i shall go on re-reading and loving the book but now i know for certain i shall not be watching this film.

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810037227/video/13468775/

Stupid trailer of the week: Gamer

Everything tells me i should keep as far away from this nonsense as possible but damn it i know i'll watch it. This comes off as Running Man meets Death Race meets Surviving The Game (Rutger Hauer/Ice T) with all the insanity that implies but hell Michael C Hall's in it!

Okay that's pretty much why i'll watch it. It could be fun, it could be awful and Butler isn't worth the bother but Michael C Hall in a villain lead role? I am so there. I'd watch any movie they put that guy in after Six Feet Under and Dexter, the guy's fantastic.

So count me in for this stupid looking movie, i just pray it's fun.

http://gamerthemovie.com/

Frustrating trailer of the week: Precious

I really feel this is under-selling this movie. This trailer is clearly tailored specifically for the US African American audience, fronted by the Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry presents tag and then proceeds to look merely okay. In fact this is one of those trailers that if i didn't know what it was for i would say, "nah, won't bother with that".

But Precious is the renamed Push which met with huge acclaim at Sundance and sounds fantastic. I think this trailer has hints of that and i pray they recut to cater for international audiences because otherwise i'll never convince my mates to watch this, and this is one of my must-sees for this year. Anyway, in the meantime the fairly generic and undersold trailer:

http://www.oprah.com/media/20090506-tows-precious-trailer

New trailer: Nine

It is destined to be one of this year's awards front-runners but i have to say i find this trailer for Rob Marshall's Nine fairly uninspiring:

http://www.apple.com/trailers/weinstein/nine/

Here you have a musical full of big names with more Oscars to there names than probably any other cast in history and yet you cut a trailer that features not a hint of any of the performances (except for a couple of lines by Judi Dench) and none of the songs! Does this scream lack of confidence to anyone else?

This trailer comes across more like an agent provocateur advert!

Still, Kate Hudson must be happy. I don't envy being her in this cast once the inevitable awards-season trailer hits with all it's "Academy Award winner..." proclamations. In a cast with DDL, Dench, Kidman, Penelope Cruz, Marion Cotillard and Sophia Loren who are all Oscar-winners and many multiple nominees her "Academy Award nominee..." proclamation is going to read like "LOSER!!!"